I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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