I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize