5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize