One girl and one boy is just not enough.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize