Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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