when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
