I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
