I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
