I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
