Yo dont text me then not text me
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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