Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
