I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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