how can u be prego again
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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