My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
