If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
