I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you win again, gameday.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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