Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
