Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My feet surprised me
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