pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i think my tv is drunk
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
