i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
