Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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