you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
