2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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