Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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