That's intense
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
