she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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