So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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