I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
