okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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