The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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