i just made my gag reflex go away.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
