He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So squirting runs in the family.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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