We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
