i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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