yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize