He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
