Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
