Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
