Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
