Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
