Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
