Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
