More tranny stories later!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
