Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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