Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize