I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
