there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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