My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
pray to the hookup gods
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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