I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
