Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize