If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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