How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize