This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
