Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
