Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Randomize
