I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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