don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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