Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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