Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
