We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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