I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
