We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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