it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Barsexuality is the new black.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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