so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
