@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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