Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
